I got two jobs today. One for the morning one for the afternoon. I had no exactly how big these jobs were going to be. The first was a house up north. A small black woman answered the door. This house only had one cable outlet. She wanted four, neither of which were anywhere near the first. So I had to run four brand new lines. She showed me the basement where two of them were going to be. There were four teenage boys crashed out in here. It looks like they were up all night playing video games. They had an X-Box 360 live and a Wii. The room smelled of B.O. I immediately got to work hooking them up. They weren't really moved in yet which was kind of nice. The woman had a projector TV from the 70's in the living room. I looked unwatchable to me but she was in front of it the whole time. As I was drilling the first outlet the battery died. This cold has been killing my batteries lately. So I had to drive home and get my charger, then bring it to this place to charge my batteries so I could continue working. This slowed me down, but it was a big job anyways. I spent about 5 hours here in the end. The kids in the room finally got up and started playing video games again. One of them said he thinks his neighborhood is boring which is why he just plays video games all the time. I said it keeps him out of trouble. The second I got the Internet up and running he went and hooked it up to his X-Box.
After I finally finished this job I skipped my lunch and headed to the next job. This was a house further up north. Two guys in their early twenties were moving in. The place was empty so far. This is not a good neighborhood at all so I thought it was weird their moving in, but the house itself was nice. Who ever owns the place remodeled it and made it look really nice. The job was pretty easy compared to the last one. The only snag was one room where they wanted a TV, the cable out of the floor wasn't working (probably damaged during the remodeling). So I had to drill yet another outlet to bypass it. As I was finishing they told me they were late for work (I thought it sucked that I have to work tomorrow on New Year's Day, but these guy have to work New Year's Eve night!). I asked where they work and they said Red Lobster. I was surprised by this. The one guy seemed to know a lot about computers and he said he has a plasma TV, so I guess I was expecting something a little more glamorous.

My first job of the day was at a town home. There was a small round woman here. She works at a hospital. I was here for her Internet. She complained that it had dropped in and out. In her basement was a small oven she used to make ceramics. She called it her studio. She also complained about her TVs breaking up every so often. This made me want to look outside, but I really didn't find anything. In fact I never really found a cause to the problem at all. This turned out to be a theme for the day. I cleaned things up a bit which improved her signal, but I don't think I really solved the problem.
The next job was in the fancy shopping district. A nice gentleman answered the door. He showed me his EMTA. He talked about how his Internet would keep dropping out and when this happened what he was watching on TV would also break up. I looked around and found absolutely nothing wrong. So I replaced the EMTA to make them feel better.
Next I headed to a house on one of the busiest streets in town. A young guy answered the door. He showed me a cable line that was just laying on the ground. He asked me who could clean that up for him. He then said he was going to have someone come out and install a new outlet. I told him that that person should be able to clean up that cable line. Truth be told I was running a little behind and did not want to spend one to two hours extra here. I was here for his Internet. He described rather erratic behavior by it and I deemed it to be the modem. At least I hoped it was the modem.
I skipped my lunch and headed to the next job. This was a little house. A gay guy let me in. He was here with another guy. He showed me to the computer and told me that whenever he plugs Vonage into our modem, the modem goes haywire. Which he showed me and sure enough it does. I swapped the modem hoping it was some sort of brand incompatibility. It seemed to work so I left.
Next was a really large house on a busy street. A guy here showed me to his modem and said that his Internet would get really slow at times. I looked around and found a couple splitters to replace, then I told him that this sort of thing is usually due to a router. If it happens again he needs to bypass his router and make sure it's not the problem.
The next job was up north. This was a dirty cluttered house. A young guy answered the door and wanted me to check out his computer. There are two computers in this house. They wanted me to get both of them working at once. they had this little metal router looking thing that was useless. I told them the only way to get both computers up at once is to get a router. They also were not getting all their channels. Specifically WGN, and occasionally other channels like USA. I looked around the house, but everything was brand new. I have no clue why they would be missing these channels. I told them it might be due to the fact that their signals are split amongst so many TVs. Then I told them some people are working in the area, they might fix the problem.
I then went to the next job. I called the guy on the way and it sounded like he was at a bar watching football. When I got to the house his wife was there. I was immediately apparent the problem was the modem, so I replaced it rather quickly, because I was given yet another job.
This job was a apartment building. There was a young woman here. She was complaining about these lines that crawl up her TV. Which was definitely there. I tried to replace the box but that didn't work, so I replaced the component cables with an HDMI cable and that fixed it.
I was told to go back to the house where the gay guy was. His Internet was down again. I went there and his modem was in stand by. I reset it and went home.

Thursday

It was snowing bad. I knew it was going to be a long day. My first job was at an apartment building along on of the busiest streets in town. The door was answered by a petite woman with a bunch of sores on her face. She said she was just out of the hospital and she was allergic to the tape they used to fasten down the breathing tubes. She was moving in with her son. their stuff wasn't here yet though. I didn't mind, it made my job easy. The worst part was working outside in the snow. She would try to strike up conversation but I wasn't too interested.
The next job was an apartment building near one of the cities nicer parks. I was greeted at the door by an older woman. She told me she grew up here but moved away about 4 years ago on the account of some guy she married. It turned out to be a bad idea. She said he doesn't even know where she is right now. Here place was full of antique furniture which was a pain to move to get out of my way. It all looked very nice though. The whole time I was there she kept complimenting me on how strong I am and how nice I am. If she wasn't old enough to be my grandmother I would think she was hitting on me or something. The job took a lot longer than I wanted it too. In the end she tipped me a $20.
Afterwards I headed to another apartment building. I was here to pick up a cable box no one wanted. I was late and the guy wasn't here. He said he left and could be back in an hour. I rescheduled it, because there was no way I was waiting.
The next job was a house not too far away. There was a very tiny woman here with her baby. She was moving in as well. I was here to install the Internet. To do so I had to get up on the pole. Since there was no alley way I had to carry my ladder through the neighbor's yard to get to the pole. There was nobody living in that house currently so the drive way had at least a foot of snow piled there. Once up on the pole I was completely exposed to the wind, which was bitter. I also noticed some damage to the line. In order to fix this i would have to carry my ladder into the next yard over. At this point I wasn't too into this so I took the chance that this would not be an immediate problem and ignored it. I then went inside and finished the install.
The next job was up a house up north. There was a black family here. I had to drill a new outlet int he daughter's bedroom. She was in a bathrobe hanging out with her boyfriend. The outlet wasn't difficult to do, I just drilled a hole through the floor. But I had to go into the crawlspace to hook it up, which sucked because I've been walking through snow all day. Once it was hooked up we ran through the channels and BET was really fuzzy. I told them I had no clue what was causing that. Which was the truth, I could see no problem, but I didn't want to put any serious time into this because I still had one more job.
The last job was a really big house about 6 blocks south of where I live. I had actually been in this house before. I replaced their router once a long time ago if I remember correctly. The mom didn't recognize me at all. I was here to drill a new outlet in their kitchen. This involved going through marble tile which I managed not to crack. I was impressed with my own handwork. The job itself took longer than I had wished. While I was there the teenage daughter baked some cookies and the mom kept giving me some. They were good cookies too. I finally left and was able to get home.

boxing day

My day started in resort town. It was tough getting around in the fresh snow. When I got to the door, the woman canceled. She said she wasn't even aware there was an appointment. So I went to the next job.
This was an apartment near the hospitals. There was an old Hispanic man here. He had to call his daughter to explain to me what the problem was. They weren't getting some channels. I replaced a few things both inside and out to no avail, it had to be the line to the apartment itself. so I had to turn it over to our team that wires the individual units.
The next job was in the land of scrape-offs. A guy answered the door, he obviously forgot about the appointment. His HD channels were not coming in very clear. This was because it was on the wrong input. I changed it and left.
The next job was at an apartment on the same block as me. The guy here was still moving in. He was supposed to be getting HBO, but wasn't. The whole building is supposed to get HBO. It didn't show on his rates though. Apparently there is only one person who can fix this and that person is out until tomorrow. So I canceled the job (since I didn't fix it) and I went to my place to use the bathroom and then I went to lunch.
My first afternoon job was in plastic land. There was a young woman here with three kids. One still very much an infant, one dressed as a princess and one who stuttered (it...it...it...it's raining!). The box obviously needed to be replaced, which I did. But when the new one was operational it wasn't getting all of it's services. Nothing looked wrong though, so I left hoping that they don't use that service. Otherwise I could've spent all afternoon on that job.
The next job was way south. A Greek woman opened the door. She showed me to the box which was completely dead. So I replaced it. They have an appointment for a install of a DVR booked for Friday. I could have done that today, I definitely need it for quota, but not doing it protects me as far as repeats go. Any future repeats will go against whoever does that install.
The next job was further north. There was a woman here with her newborn. She told me the TV in the basement was acting up. I replaced the box and everything was fine. She had another kid as well. I could tell the basement was largely their playground.
The next job was a house a few blocks away. The guy here used to be a contractor for us. His box just needed to be reset which I did. As I was leaving he wished me a happy boxing day.
I then picked up an extra job from dispatch. This was in the fancy shopping district, but nobody was home. So I picked up yet another job from dispatch. This was in the country club area. I twas actually across the street from where my friends parent's live. Luckily no one was here either so I went home.

Monday

My day started at a house I had been to earlier in the month. The nice thing about this is I know the layout of the house already, which saves me some time. The bad thing is I know have to do the things I was avoiding last time. Like go into the attic and the crawl space. The crawl space was extremely small, I literally had to crawl on my stomach amongst dirt, rocks and feces (cat?). My stomach was sore the rest of the day for it. It was an extremely nice family, I don't think they recognized me as having been here before. There was a banjo out with a book on how to play Earl Scruggs songs. In the end they tipped me $10.
The next job was a house that had been divided into two units. There was a guy living here with his mom and another woman who could have been his wife or just his girlfriend. He also spoke about his kid (when I picked up the remote he told me his kid threw it in the toilet that morning and that I may want to wash my hands afterwards), but I didn't see or hear this kid. It became evident from the outset That I needed to replace the line to the house. To do this I needed to get on the garage, since there was no direct way to the pole. On the garage there was an old basketball hoop in the snow. I cleaned up all the cables both on the inside as well as the outside. In the end they were very grateful.
The next job was a house a little further north. There was a guy here in his PJ's. He spent the whole time I was here noodling around on his guitar. He had a sour attitude. He told he was having problems ever since he first moved in here in July. Half the place was still in boxes though. He also kept talking about some one else, like a wife or girlfriend that lives there as well. How could they have not unpacked by now. The problem turned out to be some damage to the cable. It looked like a dog had chewed on it, then someone just wrapped electrical tape on in it to cover it up.
The next job was way out in plastic land. A woman was here with her kids. She wanted me to look at her Internet connection, but it was fine. The problem was her computer which I showed her compared to mine. Maybe she had a virus or something.
I skipped lunch and headed to my next job. This was a scrape off. This guy had just moved here from Albuquerque. He wouldn't quit raving about it. He said he grew up here but preferred it there. I guess he moved back for work. I was here to install Internet. The place had not had cable yet so I had to run a new line to the house. He was very anxious about the work I was doing, because he didn't own the house. Once I had everything wired the job was easy.
My last job was at a u-shaped building that has been divided into apartments. No one was there so I called and this guy had completely forgotten. At first he had someone else show up to let me in. The job was simple. I was here to install video and Internet. They were under the impression that I was hooking up wireless as well as Internet. It's amazing how many people assume that there is only wireless out there. I tired to get out of there as quickly as possible, because I had a plane to catch that evening.

I had a light day today. I only had two jobs this morning. The first was an Internet install. This was a little community of town homes. The door was answered by a Russian woman. She showed me to the computer. It became apparent right away she knew no English. I had a question and she had to call somebody else to get it straightened out. There was almost no furniture here, which always makes my job easy.
The next job was a house up north. A large black lady answered the door and got her daughter. Her daughter led me to a bedroom where the computer was. The room smelled of B.O. Her modem wasn't working. I thought it was the modem at first, but a new one didn't work either. It turned out to be a filter on the line. Once I had it fixed they were very grateful. The daughter was going to the University of Phoenix and needed to get some homework done.
After lunch I went to an apartment building off of prostitute row. A black guy answered the door. He seemed kind of nervous and talked a lot. In fact he reminded me of someone I know. He had some turntables. Along the wall where his computer was was a bunch of posters for some video game. The problem was his modem which I swapped and moved on.
The next job was a house a little south of where I live. There was a woman here with two large huskies. The place smelled of dog. She was having problems with their Internet. Of course it was working now. I found some old connectors outside to replace. Her TV downstairs was missing most of it's channels as well. That turned out to be the cable itself, but it was running inside the wall. She decided to get a electrician to come out and replace it.
The next job was at an apartment complex. An older couple was here. Their computer was working right. At one point I needed to reset the EMTA, but they were on the phone with their daughter, so I had to wait and it felt like forever. The problem turned out to be a virus or some sort of spyware that was keeping them from getting on the Internet.
My last job was up in plastic land. I had to add a cable card to a Tivo. It didn't take me long at all. Then I went home.

I had a rider today. It became evident that she is a talker. And in fact she did talk my ear off through out the day. She works in our purchasing department. The first job was at a house converted into apartments near one of our city's parks. We rang and no one answered, so we called it not at home.
The next job was a house further north. A tall, old black man answered the door and invited us in. He moved really slowly and led us to his bedroom. His TV needed to be changed to channel 3. Everything was fixed I went back into the living room and now there was a smaller black man, whose body looked out of proportion, like he was deformed. I went out back to check on the line to the house and of course it needed to be replaced, it was too old. So I went a head and replaced. Then a third black man came out to take out the garbage. I wondered exactly how many people were living in this house.
The next job was a house a little to the south. There were two black women here trying to watch BET. But it was breaking up. I looked around and tried to find something to fix but everything was new. So I replaced the box and everything was fine. Mary J Blige was on and my rider proceeded to talk with the women about her.
The next job was further south. The front yard had some sculptures in it. The house on the inside was full of really interesting artwork. There were two gay guys here. One owns an antique store while the other writes for a local publication. My rider sat and talked with them the whole time while I worked. There was another guy here. He was staying here while dealing with his divorce. He has been a meth addict for the past 10 years. All four of their TVs were acting up for different reasons. One was having audio problems, which I wasn't entirely sure how to fix. Then the TV in the kitchen only acts up sometimes, which was not now. The TV in the bedroom upstairs was obviously the box and the one in the office looked like a bad cable. So I fixed everything, but the TV in the study did not get better. So I investigated further and replaced some splitters. That fixed it. As I was finishing up a redheaded woman, who looks kind of like one of the DJs I know at a local radio station. She was a fine art photographer, and had a presentation this evening to get a show at the local art museum. She was here to get some advice on how to go about it.
We went to lunch. During lunch she proceeded to tell me about how when she's nervous she doesn't eat, food doesn't taste good to her (earlier her parents called to say they were driving into town 2 days early in order to beat a storm). Her husband is the same way. She also talked about Into The Wild and how it is borne out of Jack London's marital frustrations and how they mirror her own marital frustrations. She lives plastic land. Her husband is a realtor.
After lunch we went to a apartment building. I was here to hook up this guys VCR. She played with the guys cat. We weren't there for very long.
The next job was a town home. There were two gay guys here. There was no real problem here. The guys wanted me to make sure everything was right, which it was. The whole time she joked with them about porn and various jobs she had been on in the past. She talk about this one job where when she entered the carpet was crunchy. The guy was in a wheelchair and had a colostomy bag which was leaking, for god knows how long. Enough to soak into the carpet and make it crunchy.
The next job was in a complex near by. We were met in the hallway by a little frail old woman. The place had the overpowering smell of cat. She had a glass case full of old dolls. She talked about how one of her dolls broke and how she has someone come by three times a week to clean, but she doesn't think the lady has enough to do, so she is going to have her drive the old lady to somewhere to get the doll fixed. She had some how gotten her cable box to act like a DVR. It was easy to fix. But there is no real way to prevent her from doing it again.
The last job was in the same complex. This was an install. A young woman lived here. I was here to install video with a DVR. The install was really easy. It took a while, but we has time to kill. The women chatted it up while I waited for everything to work. Then I dropped her back off at the shop.

My day started late, because my laptop wasn't working right. I spent about an hour on the phone with IT. The first job was a house not too far from where I live. There was a couple here in their late 30's. They had a couple kids. They already had TV and a modem. I put a DVR on the TV and set them up with two phone lines as well. The guy here was complaining about their Internet being slow. Both him and his wife work from home. He sells blinds and window dressings and she's a realtor. There was a white board that had several local properties and their price tags next to them. I thought the prices were all high. The job went remarkably smooth. Especially since they had an alarm.
The next job was an apartment building near a park. There was a young woman here, she had just moved in. She thought her appointment was earlier, so she had been waiting all morning for me. I rushed to get the job done, because she needed to get to work. I could here her talking to a guy in the back room. He sounded effeminate. I never saw the guy. But I wasn't there for long.
The next job was in the fancy shopping district. A guy answered the door. They weren't yet unpacked. He told me he moved here from Pennsylvania. He is a Patent Lawyer. He was brought out here by a law firm. It sounded pretty interesting. The job was pretty easy.
My next two jobs were in the same apartment complex. The first was a disconnect. The other was an install. At the install I was met at the door by a Hispanic woman, she told me she didn't know and English. She was cooking and she had her daughter there. I went outside to hook them up and when I came back her husband was there with their two sons. The husband spoke perfect English. The job went off with out a hitch. Then I went home.

My day started at a house to the north. I was there to add two more boxes. There were two large black women living here. They didn't know how to work their computer, so I had to show them that as well. The job overall didn't take too long.
The next job was in plastic land. This was a place I had been to before. The last time I was here I moved the EMTA to another side of the room. Apparently this somehow fucked up the alarm (I thought I had it working). So some guys came back out and fixed that but now one of her phone jacks wasn't working. She had to go so I rescheduled it for tomorrow.
The next job was further south. I called and was told to cancel the job. As I was leaving a young woman pulled up and asked me about the job. I told her I was told to cancel it. She said no one knew what they were talking about and asked me to come in. I checked it out and one phone jack was working but the other one wasn't. I spent a whole lot of time trying to figure out why but couldn't come up with anything. The line must have been damaged during construction, but there was nothing I could do about it. So the job remained canceled.
The next job was in an apartment complex. A Hispanic woman answered the door. I was here to Install Internet. I was running a little behind so I rushed through it. I think she was watching Cold Case the whole time I was there.
I made a quick stop for lunch and then headed to the next job. This was a house. No one answered the door at first. I called the wife and she said her husband was probably asleep, then he answered the door. I was there because their dog chewed through the cable line. I replaced as the dog kept barking at me the whole time I was there.
Afterwards I did a couple disconnects. These were at the same location. As I drove up I saw why. The place was burned out. I could still smell the burned wood. The whole place was torched. I did the job all the while a cat kept trying to get my attention. The cat looked an awful lot like Garfield if only it was orange.
Next I headed to a house down south. The job was scheduled as 1-5 pm, but there was a note saying the customer would not be there after 5pm. So I called it not at home. I did not want to be here that late.
The next job was an apartment complex. There was a black woman here who said her phones kept going out. I thought it was connected to a bad cable so I by-passed it. I'm hoping that fixed it.
Afterwards I did a couple more disconnects and then headed to my next job. This was a fancy high rise apartment building near me. I was let in by a young gay man. I couldn't tell if he was a friend or an assistant to the men who actually live here. They weren't getting a dial-tone, but nothing was plugged into the EMTA. I hooked it all up and everything was working fine. The guy said they had been gone for 2 months and came back and nothing was working. I checked their computer to make sure it's working and on the screen was a picture of two guys in leather and one of them is licking the other.
Afterwards I did another disconnect and went home.

Monday

My day started out at a house. A little old lady lived here. Her front door was being worked on so I came around the back. She was complaining about her cable box not working, but the fact was it wasn't on channel 3. I turned it back and checked out her other TV because she was complaining about not getting channel 71 and channel 67 coming in fuzzy. I ended up replacing everything between the pole and this TV and it still didn't work, so I told her it was her TV. Towards the end her family had shown up and they were packing things away into boxes for some reason. My next job canceled while I was there which was good or I would be running really late at this point.
The next job was among some town homes. A white trash looking guy missing his front teeth. He was nice. He complained about his cable box but said it was fine now. I checked anyways and found a low signal. I re-arranged some things outside to give him a better signal. But I suspect there was another splitter in the crawl space. The only problem is that it was locked and I have no clue who to talk to to get it open. So I got everything working then I canceled the job.
The next three jobs were all on the same block, which usually denotes a network problem. I ran into a tech who told me he found a network issue in that area yesterday. So I called the first one who said everything is fine and that I should cancel the job. The woman at the next job also said everything was fine, but wanted me to check out her VCR to make sure it was working alright. At the third job I was met at the door by a woman who told me everything is fine, so I canceled that one as well.
The next job was in the fancy shopping district. This place is a box that has been divided into three different living units. The one I was heading to was the lower one. Their Internet had been going down. Of course it is working now, so I had to try and figure out what may be causing it. The only possible cause I could find was an old connector outside. I hope that was the problem.
The next job was a house I had been to before. There is an old black woman here who runs a daycare out of her house. She was having issues with her DVR which of course were not occurring today. I believe these were the same issues as the last time I was here. I told her she needed to have it replaced, but she was not wiling to replace it just yet. There were recordings she still wanted to watch. Which I'm pretty sure was the same conversation we had last time. So I left and rescheduled the job.
The next job was a little further north. There was a Hispanic woman living here with her kids. They had a small puppy that wanted really bad to run around and play. These people weren't getting all their channels. I thought it was the box at first, so I replaced it. After a while I saw the worst squirrel chew I've ever seen. There was a hole under the eve of the house where squirrels were getting into their attic and our cable line was right next to that spot. Once I replaced it everything was fine.
My last job was just off of prostitute row. There was a round Hispanic woman here with a guy I took to be her gay brother. The phones weren't fully hooked up, this required running a phone line up over the room following a beam. I finished this and went home.

Sunday

My first job of the day was in a small house near a park. At first I thought the place used to be the garage of the near by house. But the lady here said it used to be a convenience store. As I was leaving I could see it. It was a small house. She said her daughter, who goes to a nearby college, was staying here. She was sick with mono. I was here to get her Internet running. I replaced our modem with one she owns. She had two cats. One of which tried to climb up my leg.
The next job was on one of the busiest streets in town. A Jewish man answered the door. His modem wasn't working at all. I just needed to replace it.
The next job was at a apartment complex. A young black woman answered the door. She wanted me to move the EMTA to another room where the computer was going to be. She was here with a buy (who spent the whole time on the phone) and her kid. I moved it and tried to get their laptop working, but it was ancient (10 years old). It didn't have an ethernet port and none of my USB software worked for a computer this old. So I told them and the guy told the woman to get a new computer.
After lunch I went to a high rise apartment not too far from where I live. The guy here seemed happy to see me. He had a low signal. So I had to go to the box outside and re-arranged some things. That did the trick.
The next job was another high rise apartment in my neighborhood. There was a couple here watching football. I've been in this building before and I knew what the problem was right away. Their modem was plugged into the antenna outlet instead of the cable outlet. I moved it over and everything worked fine. I watched a bit of football with them and headed to the next job. This job was a couple of lesbians living in a house just off of prostitute row. They were watching golf. They were having weird signal issues which I believe I tracked down to a bad splitter. I say believe, because sometimes you don't know.
My next job was in the country club area. This was a huge house. I called the customer and she said she was about 20 minutes away. I told her I would wait. In the meantime I sought out the pedestal she was plugged into. I noticed her neighbor had their line replaced recently, at least since the last snow. Dispatch called me up and convinced me to pick up one more job. Which at the time I was running ahead so I didn't mind. She finally showed up and it became apparent that the line to her place needed to be replaced as well. Of course the majority of her house was surrounded by porch, and the line had to enter underground. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how we were going to do this. After a while she showed me something in the front which solved the whole dilemma. When I finally got it up a running she still had a low signal, but I decided I didn't want to fuck with it anymore. As I was leaving I saw that dispatch took some pity on me and pulled that last job from me because by this point I was running late.

My day started up north in the poorer neighborhood. I pulled up next to a snow covered shopping cart with a stuffed animal in it. The neighborhood smelled like the near by dog food factory. The front yard was littered with various Christmas decorations and a broken down Foosball table. The door was answered by a Hispanic woman. There was a younger woman here, who didn't live here (possibly a social worker) and a young boy, whom she constantly referred to as friend (possible foster child). The problem here turned out to be a bad cable. As I was leaving I noticed that the neighborhood now smelled like a dump.
The next job was house a little to the East. No one answered the door. There was a blue van out front that was running. Eventually a Hispanic guy jumped out and let me into the place. I was here to replace the remote.
The next job was a house a few blocks away. The door was answered by a skinny black woman. She called out to her dad in the other room. He poked around the corner wearing a bath robe, with tubes from an oxygen machine sticking up his nose and latex gloves on his hands. It looked like saran wrap was stick out of the gloves. He showed me to his room and described the problems he was having with his box. There was a white woman in the bed. She didn't get up the whole time I was there. So I replaced the box. He was also having problems with the Internet, which I fixed as well. In the end he was extremely grateful.
The next job was a house to the west. A woman answered the door and said she did not schedule any appointment, so I canceled the job.
After lunch I went to an apartment building. There was an older gentleman here. He seemed to be way into opera. Tons of recordings and books. I was here to swap the cable box, which I did and split.
The next job was a house not too far from where I live. An old man answered the door. He showed me his remote, he wasn't hitting the buttons right. I tried to explain this to him. He showed me these instruments he uses to read since his eyesight was bad. It looked like microfiche or something else you see at the library. He also gave me a box he wasn't using. He wasn't getting all his services. I couldn't for the life of me get them all to work. But it became apparent that he never used these services,so instead of stressing out about it I took off.
The next job was a house further east. This guy had switched the channel on his TV off of 3. I switched it back and checked everything. It was working fine. I looked out back and saw that the line needed to be replaced. This was a long line that ran through somebody else's backyard. I did not want to do this, so I told the guy that I was going to cancel the job so he didn't get charged. He tipped me a $5.
The last job was in a fancy high rise. I needed to replace the HD box. The guy here was very nice. They were baking brownies and gave me some. I hung out for a while to kill some time and then headed home.

Wednesday

Instead of a meeting today the supervisors cooked us some breakfast, which was nice. My first job was a nice house. It had been recently remodeled, which means they cut the cable line. So I had to string a new one. Of course it was fucking cold and everything was still icy in the alley. The nice hot summer helped me forget all about the winter. Once I finally got that finished I worked on the inside. Who ever remodeled the place only put in two cable outlets and three phone jacks in the place. This was the most asinine remodel job I've ever seen. I got the cable jacks working but could not get all the phone jacks to work. First I got one jack working, but when I got the other two working the first one wouldn't work. Eventually I had to go into the crawl space. The crawl space was about 4 1/2 feet high with no way to get down, so I had to get a ladder. I by-passed the bad line and finally went to my next job.
The next job was an apartment building. There was a young woman here. She said she just moved here from Boston. She graduated from college and was looking for something new. She said she spent the summer working in Martha's Vineyard. I had a hard time finding her line. When I did it turned out to have water damage. I had to turn it over to post-wire. The job had to be finished another day. I was running way late, so I skipped my lunch and headed to my next job. This was in plastic land. I was here to install the phone. A Hispanic woman opened the door. She said she was the cleaning lady. I set up the EMTA but for some reason I could not get the phones to work. I finally tracked it down to the patch-bay the alarm was hooked into. It was loose. The woman who lived here had finally showed up. I showed her the problem and told her to contact the builder to get a replacement.
The next job was at an apartment building. I was here to pick up some boxes. The door was answered by a young black woman. There was a couple guys on the couch. I just grabbed the shit and split. When I left there was a cop car blocking my van. He had pulled over some kids who were joyriding.
The next job was in a house that had been divided into two units. This was a family living upstairs. The place was a maze. I was here to do an Internet install. It took forever, mainly because the guys computer wouldn't cooperate. It turned out to be his firewall. He said him a his family just moved here from Arizona. He was out of work do to the housing crisis. He was working with mortgages, now he's just picking up odd jobs as a handyman. They had two very elegant looking greyhounds.

Tuesday

I started my day late on account of the bad weather. Traffic was slow. But I didn't mind. The first job was a nice house. A woman answered the door. She showed me what was wrong with her TV. It was some settings, but I noticed something else wrong. I replaced the connector behind the wall plate and that fixed it. The place was largely empty, they were still moving in.
The next job was in a town home complex. There was a black family living here. I saw at least three woman two teenage boys and two kids. The place stunk. One of the boys told me what was wrong. One TV wasn't getting a channel and the other wasn't working at all. As I was working in this one bedroom I saw two cockroaches or maybe it was the same one twice. I replaced a cable and a box.
The next job was in an apartment complex. The door was answered by a Hispanic woman. She didn't even know I was showing up. She told me something was wrong but she didn't know what. I looked around and I found a loose connector. I wasn't sure if that was actually the problem so I canceled the job.
The next job was a house to the east. A guy answered the door. He showed me his new HD TV which was having problems. It had a really low signal, but for some reason that I was never quite able to explain his Internet worked fine. I looked in his attic and everywhere else, but it turned out it was behind a wall. I told him he either needed to get an electrician to replace that stuff or I could drill a new hole. But by drilling a new hole another TV he had would quit working, because it was also coming off the splitter in the wall. So I ran the new outlet.
I was running late so usually I would go straight to my afternoon jobs, but I had an errand to run. Afterwards I went to my next job which was in a very nice house. A woman answered the door and apologized for the mess. She told me about how her Husband had a heart attack and had some severe brain damage. She hasn't been able to clean up or anything. She also started to complain about her dog which had puked on the couch and apparently uses the basement as its personal bathroom. She turned on the TV. There were cracks and a big round gray spot on the TV. You couldn't see half the TV. It told her it was her TV. It looked like someone threw something at it. She mentioned it was probably her kids.
It then went to a house a little further north. A woman answered the door. There was a guy there working on a lap top. The two of them spent the whole time working on something. Another guy showed up with their box, he was going to go switch it out with a DVR but got called back. They had re-arranged the living room and wanted the TV off of a different outlet. So I just had to activate it and make sure it worked.
The next job turned out to be the house of someone I know. We have mutual friends. He took me to the basement, where the TV wasn't working. The basement walls were plastered with advertisements from magazines and old Boondocks cartoons as well as fliers for the band we both know. I replaced a cable which got the box working. I thought my job was done. I took off but got called back because apparently there was some audio issues. We had the box going through the DVD player before, but he wanted it through his VCR and it made a horrible noise. It turned out to be his TV.
The next job was in a apartment complex. No one answered the door so I called it not at home. I thought my day was over, but they gave me one more job. This was in the land of scrape offs. The door was answered by a guy. He showed me to his modem and router. Apparently he can only get one computer to work at any one time. Which defeats the purpose of having a router. The problem was that they have had nothing but problems since switching over to us. So when I told them that the problem is their router, they were mad and said they might go back to the competitor.

Monday

I started my day up north in the poorer part of town. This was a u shaped building divided into four units. A short Hispanic woman opened the door. She was really twitchy the whole time, like she was on something. I was here to check out her Internet. I saw a couple things to replace, but ultimately I had to replace the modem.
The next job was in a apartment complex. The door was answered by an Asian guy with no shirt on. His modem wasn't working so he went and got a new one, but that one wasn't working either. It turned out it was in standby, so I set it up and went to my next job.
The next job was at another apartment complex. But no one answered the door. So I went to an early lunch. I tried to run some errands but couldn't. I just ended up doing some reading then going to my next job.
The next job was an apartment building. At first no one answered so I called and the woman said she was about a block away. She let me in and said there were problems with her Internet. The place looked like an office not a place of residence. I replaced the modem and went on my way.
The next job was in a house in a nice neighborhood. It was for sale. The woman here said she was selling it for about $450,000. I really didn't like the way house looked on the outside. I don't care how good the neighborhood is the house isn't that good. She wanted me to move the modem and router, which I did. But in the end I needed to replace the modem.
The next job was part of a series of town homes. Thankfully no one was home. I had a feeling I didn't want to do this job.
The next job was an apartment building. There was a middle aged couple here. They needed the passkey to their modem to log in. So I got it for them.
I then picked up another job. This was in an apartment building for retirees and the disabled. An little round Native American woman answered the door. She told me that "they" were listening in on her phones. She could tell, because she sometimes hears a clicking noise when she picks up the phone. I tried to explain to her that it was her voice mail. She would listen. She kept going on about a family of immigrants that follow her. She would list all these places they used to live. She said they had a blind grandmother who would move into these places then they would show up and act like they were visiting but in reality they were moving in. She said she has really good ears and she can hear them. At night they party and and yell out to people to stop ratting on them. She said that some of them are in the building but some of them just moved in across the street. She also said that when she turns on her TV she can hear voices sometimes out of the vents. Her telephone was hooked up to our box which was hooked to the cable. Her telephone was in no way connected to the building wiring. There is no way anyone could hack into it. I listened to her story, the whole time thinking what story I was going to give her in order to get out of there. In the end I told her we would get people on this and I left.
I was given yet another job at this point. This was near the hospitals. The woman here had forgotten that she had an appointment. Her phones weren't working. It turned out to be the phone its self. So I went home.

I started my day late. My first job was at a really nice house. There was a young couple here with their kids. This was a nice house in a very nice area. Their Internet was acting up. Their signal was low. I saw some things that needed to be fixed, but it wasn't enough. I then had to go into their crawl space and replace a few things. Then once I got back to the modem it was no longer working even though the signal was fine. So I got a new modem from my van. But I hooked it up to their computer and saw no response. I started to go over the house again to see if I missed something. It turned out to be something wrong with the computer itself.
The next job was a house further north. A guy answered the door with no shirt on. There were two kids sleeping on bed in the living room. They were still moving into the place. There was very little furniture. One of their cable boxes wasn't working because whoever did the install the previous day didn't put this one box on the account. Their Internet wasn't working either. The guy who did the install didn't setup the Internet at all. Once I had that set up it turned out the telephone didn't work. So I had to replace the EMTA as well.
Afterwards I went out to resort town. There was a little old man here. He was having problems with his e-mail account. It was a quick job, which was nice because I was way late by this point.
The next job was in the fancy shopping district. There was a guy here who just moved here from Seattle. Apparently he just missed all the nasty weather that's been going on up there. He said he really likes the weather here. He said whatever problem he was having is no longer an issue but asked about his TV. The problem with his TV was due to a loose connector. I checked things out and everything looked good, so I canceled the job.
I got some gas for my van and then I went to my afternoon job in order to get back on time. This was an apartment complex. A guy was here watching TV. I checked out his Internet and the signal looked off. I found a connector that was in bad need of replacing. Once I fixed that everything looked better, so I left.
The next job was way up north. As I approached this house a lady in the door way said she had canceled the job already. So I went to the next one.
This was a house to the west. An old black guy in a bath robe answered the door. He said he just got out of the hot tub. He showed me to the computer, but said he didn't know what exactly the problem was. His wife and daughter were the ones who were always on it. I checked it out their router wasn't working at all. I showed it to him and went to my last job.
This was the apartment of a friend. He wasn't there at first so I waited for him. In the meantime I did what I could to boost his signal from the outside. I did what I could to give him some extra channels as well. When he showed up I checked out the inside and everything looked good, so we talked a while and I went home.

Thursday

My day started at an apartment complex. The door was answered by a guy in a bathrobe. I told him I was here to look at his cable. He said it was fixed yesterday so I canceled it.
The next job was in a high rise apartment building. This place is mainly filled with retirees. A woman answered the door. She started talking about how her TV kept saying unusable signal. I knew right away it was on the wrong input. I just switched it over and it was working. She felt bad, I had to convince her that everything was fine.
The next job was closer to downtown. This guy answered the door. I had obviously woke him up. He showed me around back and said that his neighbor had been stealing his cable. When he disconnected his neighbor, his neighbor cut his line. So I reconnected everything and I cut all the cable that the neighbor was using. Then I canceled the job, because the odds are the neighbor was going to do it again.
The next job was in a high rise apartment building for retirees. The guy who lives here is hard of hearing so it took forever for him to realize he needed to answer the door. I knew I had to replace the box, so it was a quick job. We communicated through hand gestures for the most part.
After lunch I headed to an apartment. The was a box looking building that has been divided into four units. There were three old black ladies here. Each older than the last. One of them said that the youngest was her daughter and the older one was her sister. They didn't have any signal, so I looked out back and saw that one of the other units had disconnected them and hooked themselves up. I almost never run into people stealing cable, yet this is the second time today. As I was out there I looked over and saw a white pickup truck stop in the middle of the road. A black kid about 19 in a puffy jacket came over from the kids playground across the street and started to talk the the guy in the truck. I'm pretty sure I just witnessed a drug deal.
The next job was a few blocks away. An old black guy met me in the driveway. He said he didn't need me to be here and I looked at my radio and noticed that the job was in fact canceled. He said he wanted me to take the box with me which I did. I then picked up another job. This was further south. A guy answered the door wearing doctor garb. He was complaining about his TV stuttering. I found a couple things to replace but wasn't sure if I fixed it or not. So I moved on.
The next job was on a busy street. A guy answered the door and said everything was working fine, but he wanted me to check things out. He wanted to make sure everything was good for the fight this weekend. Which it was so I left.
The next job was in a house near a friend of mine. The wiring in the place was really old. His cable box wasn't working quite right. I replaced everything outside and cleaned it up. That fixed the problem.
At this point it was about 3:45 p.m. and too early to go home, so I called in a picked up one more job. This house was just off of prostitute row. It was a rickety little house. The paint was peeling off. The door was falling apart. I was afraid to knock too hard, the whole place might fall apart. I called and a guy answered the door. He came out and showed me the side of the house. It became immediately obvious that the line to the house needed to be replaced. Not only was this the longest line I've ever had to replace but, I didn't have enough cable for it. So I had to find another tech in the area to give me some cable, so I could do the job. When I had finished I had to call him again. He came outside to sign the paperwork. I never saw the inside of his house. If he wasn't so frail, I would wonder if he had dead bodies in there. In the end I went from being early to getting home late.

Wednesday

Today I was on installs. Which I usually enjoy. The first job was a house. A young perky woman answered the door. She told me she was expecting a lot of contractors over the day. The house was an old Victorian that had been remodeled recently. The woman here said she got the place for a good deal. That's probably because it's on a busy street and there is a lot of construction going on out front. Construction crews were tearing up the road out front. They were unearthing the old rail lines that ran through this town. She told me where she wanted everything. It looked like I had to drill some new outlets. As I was there some electricians showed up, as well as some plumbers, and some furnace guys. The house was crawling with contractors. The job took a long time. As I was drilling the second outlet, I saw sparks and smoke. I pulled my drill out out of the hole right away. I could see more smoke. I was certain I hit something electrical. It even burned into my drill bit. I grabbed one of the electricians and had him take a look at it. He checked out the nearest outlet and said it was fine. Consequently I did a follow up call in the evening and it turned out I hit the wire to the light switch and it wasn't working. I finished the job, but it took me all morning.
I rushed to the next job in the land of scrape offs. This was a nice old house. A guy answered the door. He showed me his one TV. I was here to install a box. But it wouldn't get one of his channels and I couldn't figure out why. I replaced all I could, but nothing was fixing it. I spent over two hours trying to figure this out.
Eventually I had to head to my next job. This was an apartment complex. A woman answered the door. She already had some services and was upgrading. She didn't have too many nice things to say about who ever installed her last time. I was running late so I tried to speed through this install as quickly as possibly. She spent the time I was there talking to her neighbors.
The next job was in the fancy shopping district. This was a series of town homes. This guy was having the place painted before he moved in so the place was empty. Thankfully the place was still hooked up too. I moved quickly because I had to be somewhere, So I got things working and headed home.

And that's why I didn't see the gun

My day started at a apartment complex. A guy answered the door and showed me his TV. It was perfectly fine, there wasn't a single thing wrong with it. He was convinced that ever since the power went out about a week a go his TV hasn't been right. A previous tech had gone out there and gave him some bullshit excuse in order to leave. I wish I could pull that off. I went outside and replaced a couple connectors and then tried to convince the guy the picture was better. He didn't really buy. Then I had to convince him that his picture was good and wasn't going to get any better. The whole time I was there he would stray off topic. He would start talking about the terrible weather in the north west or about the fact that it was his birthday. He also talked about how is on the board for the complex and is in charge of paying the bill for the complex. This he said in a passing tone, but its hard not to see it as an attempt to gain some sort of special attention.
The next job was in the land of scrape offs. An elderly gentleman answered the door. he said this was his daughter's place and she had to run out. There were getting no signal to their TVs. I went to the splitter in the garage and checked everything and put it all back together. When I got back inside everything was working. I removed an unnecessary splitter. Then the daughter showed up. She told me how her son has a sling box, so he can watch local sports from where he goes to school in upstate New York. And how he was mad he couldn't see the football game yesterday. He didn't miss much.
The next house was little south. The door was answered by an elderly gentleman. him and his wife were here. They said they weren't getting all their channels. I looked and found some filters on the line, which I removed. We reprogrammed the TV and it was fine. On my way out the wife gave me some cookies.
The next job was in an apartment complex. a guy answered the door. The place was decked out in Christmas decorations. He complained about some channels acting up at night. I looked outside and found a bad connector. When I got back inside I talked to the guy and it turned out he works for the company as well. So I made sure he was getting the best possible signal I could get. Eventually his kids woke up and started running around. I guess he stays home to watch them some days.
My route today was all fucked up so I called one of my afternoon jobs which was in this area and fortunately they were home. I went to an apartment building. There were two young women here, I assume they were both in college. They were only getting the local channels for some reason. I switched them from one splitter to another outside and that seemed to do the trick. So I ran a quick errand and then headed to my next job.
This one was an apartment building near a park. A lady answered the door with half her upper body in some sort of brace. Apparently she broke her arm really bad slipping on some ice not too long ago. She said the pain was killing her and sometimes she looses feeling to her hand altogether. She's been having serious problems off and on with her cable. but it only seems to happen at night. I could see that several techs had been out here in the last couple months. Even so I did find some connectors to replace. The funny thing is the whole time I was there she kept referring to the last guy who was there as a supervisor. He is in not a supervisor he's in my squad. She also kept referring to the piece of paper he had left behind with his notes. But she had puked on it one night, so it was all crusty. I'm not sure why she bothered to keep it.
The next job was a place I had been to before. Which had it's advantages. I already knew what had to be done. but no one answered the door so I went to the next job.
This was a house that has been converted into two apartments. Right behind the sketchy 7-11 two blocks from where I live. A guy answered the door. He showed me his DVR. It was making this obnoxious clicking sound. So I replaced it. He told me he bought this TV at some sort of Black Friday sale. Got it for about $1200 in the end. It was nice. Maybe I'll be able to afford that some day. He also told me about that friend of the Clinton's who supposedly committed suicide right before he was going to testify against them back in the 90's. He said he worked for the fire dept who were the first people on the scene. He said before the secret service got there there was no suicide note or suitcase and there was no blood splatter. He said it looked like the body was dumped there.
I then headed to my last job. This was a high rise apartment building near a park. One of those where each floor is divided in half. There was an old couple here. They said that ever since they got their TV fixed they haven't been getting all their channels. This TV was a giant cube and it weighed a ton. It took while to figure out, but it was a setting on the TV. They were so grateful they tipped me a $10.

Beep...Beige

My day started at an apartment near one of the larger parks in town. There was an older woman here. She had a brand new router, and it looked like she had our Internet before. After a while I pieced together that she was recently divorced. Her bed was her couch. this was a really small place. The screen saver on her computer was of her with a big band. I guess she's a singer. I hadn't heard of her before.
The next job was a really nice house in the land of scrape offs. There was a family here. I was here to get their Tivo working. It sounded as though they live in Connecticut as well and they just move back and forth. This was the first time I've installed a cable card. It was pretty easy. It just took a long time for the Tivo go through the set up. The wife brought up a problem she was having with her Internet. We looked at it and it seemed to fix itself. I think she is a doctor. There was some architectural plans on the table. The whole time I was there the two kids were running around yelling.
The next job was in resort town. I was here to install some cable. I woke the woman up. When she opened the door she looked at me and asked why I was there. Then she realized why I was there and then she apologized saying she works the evening shift. She had two dogs that barked at me most of the time I was there. She spent most of the time I was there online, researching the price of Tivo's.
The next job was in a town-home complex. The door was answered by a middle eastern woman, who spoke no English. It looked like they had our services before and I was just there to hook them back up. The keyboard of their computer had the various characters of Arabic drawn on the corresponding English characters.
The next job was a house. At first no one was there except some insurance guys looking at the roof. I waited and right as I was about to call it not at home. Apparently she had a flat tire and was desperate to get back and not miss the appointment. She had just moved here from Seattle. She said she used to live here and got tired of Seattle, so she came back. The place was empty, she was still waiting for her stuff to get moved. The line to the house was old, so I had to replace it. I also had to drill a hole through the floor to get cable into the living room. She talked a lot. The first modem I set up had to be replaced as well.
My last job was in plasticland. I first walked in the place and it looked under construction. There was a guy cutting tiles (for the bathroom). Eventually I found the owner. He said the place was foreclosed upon. The previous residents trashed the place. So he was cleaning the place up and remodeling it. He bought a modem from us but it had not arrived yet, so I had to set things up for him to do it himself. I was also able to upsell him to a better video package.

My day started at a apartment building near where I live. An effeminate Hispanic guy lived here. He just moved to town from Los Angeles. He said he dabbles in Real Estate and wanted to get in on the market here. He bought this condo for $100,000. He said the previous owner offered 120, but he could tell the person wanted out bad, so he low balled him. The place was empty. All he had for furniture was his fancy flat screen TV. He said he wanted to take out the carpet and put in hard wood floors before he gets furniture in the place. He tried to install the Internet himself and failed. It was because he was trying to run it through the antennae. The cable outlet was in fact disconnected. It was an easy job.
The next job was an apartment building. It was right next to some Buddhist center, I didn't even know existed before. A young black guy with no shirt on let me in. His girlfriend was still in her pj's. They had just moved here from St. Louis. The guy was still looking for a job, so I told him to apply with us. Their modem wasn't working at all, so I replaced it. I also programmed their remote for their TV. They were extremely grateful.
I then had an early lunch and tried to get to my next job a little early. This job was in an apartment complex. A short round Asian lady answered the door. She took me to her kids room where the modem was. She said it would keep going out randomly. I guess her kid plays a lot of X-Box Live, so he notices this sort of thing. I thought the problem was possibly outside, but I could tell she wanted me to swap out the modem. So I poked around outside then came back in and switched out the modem. Every so often she would watch over my shoulder which was a little annoying. Her kid would just sit there and text message people, while she tried to bond with him.
The next job was house further up north. There was an older couple here with their son. I got the impression he was visiting for the day, possibly from college. The place smelled nice, like they were recently baking. I was here to fix their modem. I found some bad splitters, but there looked to be a lot more going on than this. I spent quite a bit of time trying to get a better signal to the modem, but was still a little short. I could see that someone is going to be here on Tue. to install an HD box. This ultimately gives me a pass on the job. Assuming that I don't get repeated between now and then, and future repeats go against whoever ends up here in a couple days. So running out of time, I made sure things were working and headed to my next job.
This was a house back south. The door was answered by a guy wearing a Chicago Bears shirt. He looked a little confused. I said I was here to check out his Internet. He said it was fine, he was on it now. So I canceled the job and went on.
Next was a job in an apartment building. A black lady answered the door. I couldn't tell if she lived here alone or not. The problem with her modem was a bad cable. I replaced it and left.
My last job was an apartment building. This building is filled with older, retired folks. Upon entering I could tell some sort of party was going on. I could smell Bar-B-Q. I went upstairs and the door was answered by a little old Hispanic lady. She had a thick accent. Her flat screen TV was not working. I pulled the connection off to check it. I saw a piece of tinfoil in there, which I removed. I re-attached the connector and it worked fine. So I canceled the job and went home.
But as I called into dispatch to close out my day, they gave me yet another job. This wasn't even in my area. It was a little gated community. there was an old Jewish couple here. It turned out that they had changed the channel of their TVs off of channel 3. So they weren't getting any cable. I got out and went home as quickly as possible.

Thursday

My day started at a house. An old woman answered the door. Right away started to apologize for her cats which were running around behind her TV and unplugged something. I quickly found it and plugged it back in. She proceeded to complain about her cats and about how they like to climb up the Christmas tree. There was also a planet that they have terrorized. In the end she tried to pawn them off on me.
The next job was in a high rise apartment building. This place is mainly inhabited by immigrants. I have been to this apartment before. There was a Jamaican lady here who loves to watch westerns. She was having a problem with her box. She was complaining about missing Dancing With the Stars last night. I replaced it, but that wasn't the problem. It turned out to be a loose connector.
The next job was a house. A young guy answered the door. He works from home. He said him and a friend bought this place together. It was a nice place. They weren't getting the NFL network. I determined it to be a bad cable. Which I replaced.
Then I went to a job I was at yesterday. The woman who had one eye closed and the other squinting. She had somehow messed up the volume. I fixed it and canceled the job to avoid a repeat.
Being in the neighborhood I had lunch at home. Then I went to my first afternoon job. This was a nice new house. The woman here wanted me to re-arrange the audio so that it would come through both the TV and the surround sound and to program her remote to control her TV, Cable Box and Tuner. Which I did.
The next job was in the fancy shopping area. This were a series of town-homes. An old guy answered the door. They had a Christmas tree that was completely covered in ornaments. You couldn't even see the tree. His DVR was on the fritz so I replaced it. Then went to the next job.
This was only a couple blocks away. A woman answered the door. She turned on the TV and it was working fine. She explained what had happened and I tried to re-create it but couldn't so I canceled the job and left.
My last job was a small apartment building. The woman was having problems with her cable and Internet. It turned out to be a low signal. It took a little while but I had figured out how to improve it. The problem with her Internet was because of her work computer. It had been set up in some way where it wasn't going to be able to get on. So I helped her set up her new apple computer and got that on the Internet instead. Then I went home

Wednesday

This was the day of my weekly meeting. It had snowed last night and the roads were icy. On the way in I turned on a side street, but I hit it too fast and spun around about 270 degrees until I was finally stopped by the sidewalk. The whole time I just kept thinking I hope I don't roll over.
The first job was a home in the land of scrape offs. This was an old home. The woman living here must have lived here for a long time. She was on older lady. She had to put her dog up. She explained that is was abused and then left out in the country, the dog eventually ended up on her farm. But its not too friendly to strangers because of this. Her front screen wouldn't open for some reason so I had to go around back. I was just here to switch out a box for a DVR. The room I was putting it in had a litter box in the middle on a plastic sheet. In fact all her furniture throughout the house had plastic on it. This room had a couple of desks but no where to really sit, so I thought it was weird to put a DVR in this room.
The next job was a house. This guy had recently bought the place and was still moving in. I just needed to move the EMTA into another room. But there was no cable or phone in that room, so I had to run a new outlet. This took a bit of time. At least he helped me out, which is always nice. I replaced his DVR for him as well, while I was there.
Then I headed to a row of apartments. The door was answered by a round woman, who had one eye barely open while the other was completely closed. She said she had some extra money so she bought an HD TV. I was here to install an HD box. I was running very late, so I took off quick.
The next job was at an apartment building near where I live. There was a young woman here. The place was laid out differently. the is the first place I've heard that is cheaper than my own. Though she said she knew some one, that's why she has such a good deal. That and the fact that it's really a half-way house. The place was furnished with a really crappy little TV. The kind that have big knobs. She couldn't get most of the channels and the ones she did get were crappy. I also installed the Internet.
I went straight to the next job. This was a house not too far from where my girlfriend lives. A big rotund fellow answered the door. He had a long beard and moved very slow. The place was full of very interesting art work. It turned out that both his parents were artists. His dad did paintings while his mom worked with pottery. The place was full of their artwork. The kitchen was painted as well. He gave me a brochure for an exhibit of their artwork at a museum here in town. The install was very easy. As I was leaving he mentioned that before I showed up he wasn't getting a few channels. It sounded like a filter, so after I left I went up the pole and removed the filter.
The next job was in plastic land. I just had to downgrade somebody, which I did from the outside.
Then I headed to my last job. This was in the land of scrape offs. This was a very nice ranch home. It took up a loot of land. There was an older lady here, with 20 year old guy and a woman who was in her mid-twenties. She is an architect and the two others she enlisted to help her. She said she had gum surgery yesterday, so one of the others fixed her a drink. I was here to switch out an HD box with a DVR and fix one of her TVs which I did. We talked a bit and then I went home.

My day started at an apartment not too far from where I live. There was a little woman here, who wasn't getting some of her channels. Her place was full of Garfield dolls. She was watching a Poirot movie. I replaced everything I could and when I was just about to give up I switched her to a different splitter in the box and that cleared it up. So I went to my next job.
The next job was a house. An older gentleman opened the door. His place had a lot of interesting art work. He was complaining about the sound being fucked up, which it was. At first I thought it was his fancy HD TV. But it turned out to be the box, which I switched out.
Next I headed to the land of scrape-offs. This place looked like a scrape-off but I was assured it was a remodel (not that there is much of a difference). There was one TV that wasn't working. It had a frame around it which pulled up a picture, when you are not watching TV. Basically it wasn't getting any signal. The line must have been cut during construction. It took a while to convince the woman here of this. We ran a new line from a different outlet. While waiting for the TV to work, she gave me a Pelegrino and a Clementine.
The next job was in the fancy shopping district. The door was answered by a woman who had a shit tone of make-up on. I thought it was still Halloween. She showed me a TV that was missing a couple channels. I asked to see the splitter. She called to her husband who was in the basement. He came up. Never in my life had I ever seen so much hair on a person's ear. It was thick too. Downstairs he showed me to where everything came together. It looked like a switchboard. It took us a long time just figure out how it worked. Let alone get anything fixed. Eventually I left and by this time I was starting to run late.
The next job wasn't too far away. The door at this place was answered by a tall thin woman. She showed me the TV. I asked where the splitter was and she showed me to the basement then she went to get her husband. The basement was his work area there were empty bullet shells in zip-lock bags. He said he was a corrections office in a town about 45 minutes to the south. He showed me where some other things were, then he proceeded to give me a tour of the place and point out a bunch of things that were completely irrelevant. In fact the whole time I was there he would bring up things that had nothing to do with the problem even when I had already explained to him that it wasn't problem. Eventually I had to figure out a way to bypass the outlet in question. I spent way too much time there and now I was even later.
The next job was in an apartment complex. They were not getting a few channels. I knew exactly where to look, so I moved quickly to gain time. There was a Hispanic family here. They had statues of bald eagles carrying the U.S. flag next to their flat screen TV. They also had some toy trucks around as well. I then headed to the next job.
The next job was up north. It was a series of town-homes. I walked in and a woman told me nothing was working, but she turned the TV on and it was working. I saw that the splitter was hooked up backwards. So I fixed it and went on my way.
As I was heading to my next job it got canceled, so I was ready to go home, but got stuck with one more job. This was a faulty router. The family was eating dinner as I was working. I could tell one of the sons was applying for college. He had an impressive list he was going out for. AT one point the dog came in, tossed one of the pillows off the chair in the room, then tossed the other one around until it was right for him to lay on. As I was leaving the wife offered me some food to take with me. I declined and headed home.

Monday

My day started at an apartment complex. I was doing installs today, and the woman here already had everything set up for me. Which made it all very easy. She had just moved from a town up north. She's a Presbyterian minister and just moved to a church that was only a couple blocks away. I was jealous about the fact that she can walk to work. She said she would still have to drive back to that town once a month to do pre-marital counseling.
The next job was in resort town. There was a young couple here, still moving in. Once again they had everything already set up for me, so the install was super easy.
I was called to pick up another job in the retirement community. I was greeted at the door by an old man. He told me that the woman I was here for is both deaf and dumb, so she is waiting for me in her room. I asked him what was wrong and he didn't know. At her place he asked me to press a doorbell. I could see that it caused a light to flash. At this point I heard a squawk. I thought it was a parrot, I see lots of parakeets in this neighborhood. I came in and there was no bird. It was in fact her that made the squawk. In a way she reminded me of one of the singing sisters in the Triplets of Bellville. She motioned towards the TV and shrugged her shoulders. I turned it on and saw that it was on the wrong channel. I changed it and she was immediately grateful. She blew me a kiss to show her gratitude.
After lunch I went to a house way up north in a poorer neighborhood. A young guy answered the door. The place was a mess because they were still moving in. He showed me where everything was. Out back i could tell that everything was old, but a previous tech out here had tried to cover it up and make it look new. So I ended up having to replace the line to the house. Which took a while, but after words, the install was easy.
My last job was only a couple doors away from a friend of mine. I had to call her and she showed up. Her place was empty. She had moved from Tamp Bay. She used to live here and missed it, so she has moved back. Currently she's waiting for her stuff to arrive. The place was depressing. She said she's been staying with her friend down the street. I almost wonder if it's the same person I knew. She looked like they may know each other. But for some reason I didn't ask. It wasn't a difficult install.

sunday

My day started at an apartment building, that looks like one of those large Victorian buildings that has been converted into apartments, but it was actually a scrape off. A woman answered the door and mentioned that her boyfriend was slow to getting up. So she acted as a diversion until he was dressed and out of the room. She was having problems with her Internet. Her signal was a little low, which I fixed but the real problem was her router. I showed it to her and went to my next job.
This was another apartment building. A guy meet me at the door. He apologized for the mess. He said his girlfriend was out of town, which meant he got to live as a bachelor for a while. So there was clothes all over the place. I had to jump over some clothes to get up the stairs to where the modem. It turned out to be the modem, so I replaced it.
The next job was a house. The door was answered by a nice gentleman. He showed me to where the modem was upstairs. It was the modem so I replaced it and went to the next job.
This place was a house. But there were several people living here. The atmosphere was that of college. I was showed upstairs to a room where the modem was. It was getting a low signal. I looked outside and saw that the line needed to be replaced. In fact I saw things wrong all over the place. In the end I spent almost three hours there replacing everything. All the while a couple of guys just sat there and watched Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back and some football.
Afterwards I went to an apartment building near where I live. There was an older couple living here. There were having serious Internet issues. Their signal was low. I did what I could to raise it but, the issue was both the signal to the building and the line to their apartment. But considering that I was running behind at this point I decided to let things remain the way they are and hope it doesn't come back to haunt me.
The next job was just a few blocks away at another apartment building. This guy was having Internet issues as well. It turned out that the connector wasn't hooked up right at the splitter. It as a very quick job.
I was then given another job. But no one was home. So I went to another apartment building. There was a woman here. She was having TV issues. It was due to a low signal. So I fixed the signal and left.
As I was leaving I was given yet another job. This was in the country club area. This guy looked and sounded a lot like Robert Culp. He was having a problem with one of his TVs. But it never happened while I was there. We actually just sat there and watched the football game. Every so often we would remember why I was there and make some comment about how it hasn't happened yet. Eventually I just left.

This day started out in the fancy shopping district. I was actually at this place about a year ago to replace the DVRs. This time I was here to program her remote to her new TV. It was a simple in and out job.
The next job was further north. The door was answered by an old black woman. She went to go wake up her son. He showed me a TV int he basement that wasn't getting too many channels. The son was in town for Thanksgiving, from Austin. It turned out that the line to the house needed to be replaced. It was old and squirrels had been chewing on it. But that wasn't the problem, it was the box itself.
Next I headed to a house near the hospitals. This was a nice looking brick house, that had been divided into two units. A woman answered the door. There was a kid there as well and they were cooking. I thought it was her daughter but it became apparent that was her niece, because the kid started talking about her parents. She wasn't getting a bunch of channels. I replaced a couple connectors and a bad looking cable and that did it.
The next job was a house in the land of scrape-offs. This was actually the house of the Norwegian guy who's condo I worked at last week (the one with marble floors and Andy Warhol Marylin's). When he setup his account for that they disconnected him here, but he wasn't moving he wanted to keep both places active. So I just had to go up the pole and re-connect them.
The first job after lunch was an apartment building about 2 blocks away from me. The door was answered by a guy who had a strange way of talking. Like a stereotypical nerd. He had posters on his wall of Laurel & Hardy, the Marx Brothers, and Charlie Chaplin. He was having some issues with one of his channels. It turned out to be a connector that was not properly tightened.
The next job was an apartment building about two blocks from where I live in the other direction. A old woman answered the door. She walked very slowly. There was a couple bongs around. She apologized and assured me she only smokes for the pain. She asked me to move the cable box to a new TV, because she was getting surgery done soon. I did so and left the other TV hooked up with regular cable. Then she asked for me to replace her remote. Which I did. Then she asked me to give her a new remote for the TV without a box. I tried to tell her that we only give remotes for TVs with boxes. She tried to tell me that she always got a remote, then asked to speak to a supervisor. I went to get her a remote because I didn't want the hassle. When I got back with a new remote she was a complete bitch to me. She started acting like I had lied to her about the remote then she asked to sign the paperwork and slammed the door behind me.
The next job was at resort town. There was a young couple here, who had just gotten an HD box. It wasn't working quite right. She had it on the wrong input. So I went to the next job.
The next job was near the land of scrape-offs. There was an old man here. He moved slowly. He was having some random issues with the boxes, but everything looked fine. I suggested we replace the boxes but he wasn't too receptive. In the mean time he kept talking to me about his life. From the fact that he is a widower, to the fact that his family not only had the first TV in the neighborhood, but the first color TV in the neighborhood. He also gave me a Arizona Ice Tea.
Next I was given a job in the land of scrape-offs. These people were still moving in. Their Internet and phone weren't working correctly. It turned out his EMTA was in stand-by. That's why his Internet wasn't working. His phone wasn't working because of something in our system. It only took a phone call to fix.
My last job was at a house way down south. A previous tech left the job unfinished. One outlet wasn't working. It was because it wasn't even hooked up. I also had to fix a splice in the line, then I was finally able to go home.

My day started out in the retirement community. The lady here had several parrots about the place. As I approached the TV one of the parrots started to sound off like an alarm. Very loudly too. The lady picked the bird up and brought it into another room. She said it was her alarm bird. It sounds off when it sees a stranger. The problem turned out to be with the phones. It was a very simple fix.
Afterwards I went to and apartment complex near by. A black woman answered the door. She described that a picture had fallen and she hasn't had any TV or telephone since. I checked outside and it took me forever to get a key to the room. Apparently whoever the last tech was out there must have taken the key home. Anyways the problem was in the the unit itself. While I was fixing it she was on the phone with her friend. Saying that she can no longer handle being a single parent, and that she wanted to move in with her mom or someone who could help out.
The next job was in a building largely filled with retirees. I was met in the parking lot by a black lady who moved very slowly. We made our way to her place. Her telephones weren't working. I replaced a few things and eventually tracked it down to a bad splitter. She asked me to activate the phone jack in her bedroom as well. So I went ahead and did it. She was extremely grateful.
After lunch I went back to the retirement community. This was for an install. I showed up and the unit was being remodeled. A woman was there. She was getting the place remodeled for her parents who were going to move in shortly. It looked as though the place was wired, which had me thinking this was going to be an easy job. Somehow it actually took longer than usual. There was a lot of talking about what needed to happen, which always takes time. At one point she started talking about how she woke up one night and caught her father (who is deaf) watching porn.
The next job a large house. I was caught by surprise because this is easily the largest house in the area. It may have been the first. I was here to install an amplifier. The guy wanted some extra outlets activated. The problem was we couldn't figure out which outlet went to which line, so I hooked them all up. Which got everything working but one TV. He said he would have to figure that out later.
The last job was at a house near where I live. The door was answered by a slightly effeminate man. He showed to the broiler room in the basement where his router was. He explained what was going on and though I saw nothing wrong I replaced the modem anyways. Then I went home.

My first job of the day was a condo in the fancy shopping district. A woman answered the door in her bathrobe. She apologized and said she just got out of the shower. The place was nice, she had a fire going. She showed me the TV which was connected to an outlet in another room. She wanted it to go from the outlet in this room. The problem is I couldn't figure out how to activate that jack. So I made her a longer chord so it would look better. I also replaced the box, because her roommate said it was making a weird noise. In the building a small frail old woman approached me and asked me to help her open her door, she couldn't get the key to work. I obliged.
Next I headed to a nice house near a park. I guy answered the door and led me to a TV. He said he wasn't getting one channel and that the audio wasn't matching up with the picture. We turned the TV on and everything was working fine so I canceled it.
The next job was on a different side of the same park. This was a high rise condo. I went to the 13th floor. A contractor meet me there. He showed me the TVs that weren't working. It was an issue with the cable cards. Honestly this is still a new technology, this is the first time I dealt with it. All it really took was to call dispatch and be on hold forever. The contractor told me the renovations on this place cost more than his house. There were three Andy Warhol Marylin Monroe's, marble tile floors. he said the guy owns an island off of Norway, a condo in San Diego, a 5 Million dollar home in Vail, CO. a 2 million dollar guest home in Vail and a couple other properties here in town. He said the guy bought this place at auction for 2.1 million. With the renovations the guy had spent 2.5 million on the place and the insurance listed it as over 4 million. It must be nice to have money. The contractor was nice. The view was amazing.
The next job was an apartment building. There was an older guy here. He was complaining about certain things not working, but everything was working fine. So I replaced the box to appease him.
The next job was on the same block. This was an old Hispanic woman. She said nothing was working but I turned it on and everything worked fine, so I canceled it.
At this point I was ahead of schedule so I took a lunch. Then I went to the retirement community. At this place I was met by a large black guy. Large as in Andre the giant large. He breathed for heavily, talked with slurred speech and moved very slowly. His mom was in a little motorized chair. The bottom half of her body looked twice as large as the top half. There was an obnoxious smell about the place, it didn't take long to get a head ache. The place was filthy as well. He wasn't getting a few channels. I just had to tighten up a few loose connections and replace a splitter. He asked me for a new remote which I gave and I hooked up his DVD player as well.
The next job was in the same area. But no one answered so I called it not at home and went to my next job. This was a house I have already been to twice already. In fact when I saw it I almost kept driving. I was anticipating something bad. But we joked around about it. It turned out she went out and got a couple more boxes and wasn't able to get them to work. I got them both to work but one of them turned out to be bad. I didn't have any of the smaller boxes and that was all that would fit there so she is going to have to go to one of our payment centers and swap it out herself. This was the first time I had been in her basement though and she has a large collection of black dolls down there.
My last job was an apartment complex, this one takes up a whole city block. The door was answered by a young guy. His Internet wasn't working. I unplugged it to check the levels and plugged it back in and everything started working again. Everything looked fine, so I canceled the job.

I have installs again today. The first one was a block away from where I live. It was a large house that has been turned into apartments. Which I never realized in all the times I passed this place. Each apartment has it's own door at a different part of the house. This particular apartment was resided by a young black woman. She had two very cute and precocious cats. One was a Siamese that looked exactly like my girlfriend's cat. I told her that. Not long afterwards she start to talk about her girlfriend. I thought she may have been lesbian, but it wasn't very obvious. To hook up her apartment I needed to be let into the basement by the landlord who lived in the building next door. I got the impression that he renovated the place himself. If so he did a good job. It was a nice place. The job was easy. A little time consuming. At one point she was talking to me about how her landlord had been caring for a straggly stray for 12 years. There was a lull in the conversation when I heard something about Kanye West's mom, I remarked about it, but she thought I must have been responding to the story involving the cat, because she proceeded to talk about it some more.
The next job was at some fancy condos near a small park. An older Hispanic woman let me in. I was here to install all our services. We talked some about how it was going to be set up. I could tell she didn't realize the full extent of what needed to happen. I wish whoever sold her the package would explain this stuff. The job was easy at first. I got the TV working and the Internet, but the phones took forever. I overlooked what the problem was and worked on a different part. Then when I finally fixed what the problem was and it still wasn't working. In messing with some other things I had created a whole new problem. Which took me a while to figure out and fix. When I finally finished I had to skip lunch and head to my next job.
My last job was a house. The place was trashed. A black woman answered the door. She made reference to the fact that the previous residents had been evicted because they trashed the place and weren't paying their bills. Everything here was there stuff which they are supposed to come back and pick up. The place was filthy. At least it didn't smell bad. The woman said the place belongs to a friend of the family who is willing to let her stay there for cheap if she clean the place up. This place is going to take a lot of work. The up side for me , is that everything was already wired. The previous residents even left their old cable boxes. I just had to plug in some new ones where the old ones were and I'm done. I did have to go into a neighbor's yard to get to the pole, which involved dodging dog shit. That's not an easy thing to do when your carrying a ladder. Anyways, I got things working and headed home.

My morning was spent in the poorer neighborhoods. The door at the first house was answered by a large black woman. The place was a mess, they were still moving in. Boxes everywhere. She apologized for this fact. They weren't getting a bunch of random channels. I traced it back to the cable to the box and a bad connector outside.
The next job was only a few blocks away. This was a duplex. A young black guy answered the door. He showed me a TV downstairs that wasn't getting a few channels. The basement and the stairs down tot the basement were covered with linoleum. The place smelled like cleaning products. At one point someone showed up holding a vacuum and a mop in a bucket. I took a peek outside and saw a couple things wrong. I fixed them and sure enough everything was working. We talked a bit about the local sports teams and I took off.
Next I headed to some row houses. The door was answered by a Hispanic woman who spoke little English. She had two cute little kids there that followed me around and watched everything I did. Another adult was there cooking and it smelled great. They weren't getting Telemundo or Univision. I replaced the splitter and the line to the box and that helped but didn't fix it completely. I spent a while trying to figure out what the problem was. It turned out to be the line to one of the other TVs.I took lunch and headed to my next job. The first job of the afternoon was a scrape off. There was a woman here who looked slightly pregnant and an older woman I assumed to be her mom. I as there because her box quit working in the middle of watching football. She unhooked it to keep watching TV. I hooked the box back up and it was working fine. So I canceled the job and went to the next job.
The next job was a house that has been recently remodeled. There was nice old couple here. I wasn't paying attention and one of there dogs jumped on me and landed both paws in my stomach. It almost knocked the wind out of me. That's what I get for not paying attention. Their EMTA wasn't working, because they had a new outlet working in the renovated part of the house, which disconnected that outlet. I just had to switch it around. They also wanted an HD box, so I set them up with one.
The next job was in plasticland. They had one of our really bad DVRs and I needed to swap it. There was a young guy here. He looked like he used to play sports. We didn't talk much, he just worked on his laptop.
My last job was in an apartment building. The guy wasn't there when I showed up, so I called and he said he just got off of work. He would be there in 20 minutes later. So I replaced everything I could on the outside while I waited. The guy finally showed up about 30 minutes later. The guy was an effeminate Hispanic guy. He showed me in and told me he was missing Telemundo and Univision. I found a splitter, but there was only one TV, so it was useless. As soon as I got rid of it, everything worked. So I then went home.

I got installs today! That's how I like to start my week. The first job was in a apartment building near plastic land. A young guy let me in. He said he just woke up and apologized for how messy his place was. He was still moving in. When I first showed up I heard someone in the shower and assumed it was his girlfriend. He had a couple little parakeets in a cage. They spent most of the time quietly watching me. I had brought in my equipment and his girlfriend was sitting on the couch. I go the impression they both work in the airline industry. At one point I look down and see bird shit on the cable box. I have no clue how it got there. Those birds must be snipers or something. So I cleaned it up and continued with the job. The guy would check to make sure I was doing alright, but for the most part left to do my job. His computer did not have Ethernet, only USB. But it did not have the driver to make it work. This took some creativity as far as making it work, but eventually I solved the problem.
The next job was in the retirement community. A woman let me in. She didn't seem too old. She talked in a slow deliberate way which I wasn't sure if it was an accent or the result of a medical condition like a stroke. She was nice. I was here to set up a couple cable boxes. She had never had cable before, so I had to show her how to use it. I don't know if she got it all.
After lunch I went to a house. Both the husband and wife were here. The wife was smiling the whole time I was there. After a while it came off as creepy. They had TV and Internet, I just had to install the phones. Which was incredibly easy. They had many questions, all of which I answered.
The last job was in plastic land. I called ahead and the woman's mom was there. She had a accent like Zsa Zsa Gabor. When I first showed up she asked me to help bring in a TV. We aren't supposed to, but I was feeling generous. This woman had no clue what the hell she was talking about, but that didn't stop her from meddling. She would not stop asking me questions and bothering me. The worst part was as I was getting close to finishing she decided to switch things around and move the modem into the other room. At this point I was completely annoyed with her. I just finished the job was quickly as possible and go home.